Growing up I was always the girl with the plan and thought I knew exactly what I wanted from day to day. Upon completing my financial services program at our provincial community college. I was on my way to a successful path in life once again with job offers with different companies. This was what I had wanted for so long, yet it didn’t feel right. I could feel that my heart wasn’t in it and there wasn’t a bone in my body that was excited about the next step in my life. I started second guessing everything I had done in my life.
- What if this career wasn’t what I wanted to do for the rest of my life?
- Is sitting at a desk for the rest of my life exciting?
- Do I really want to get sucked into a job without experiencing so many thing in life that i’ve always dreamed of doing?
The last day of classes I decided that I wasn’t going to do what was “the plan” or so I thought.
I was going to embark on a journey to Europe; somewhere new that I hadn’t been before. I originally wanted to backpack alone but that didn’t go over well with anyone in my family so I considered other options and decided to look into au pairing, which would give me an income at the same time! I was fortunate to find a lovely family located in Paris which was exactly what I was looking for because I had already taken a year of french immersion at a french university and could use the extra practice.
The more people that I told, the more real it felt. It was great how supportive everyone was with my decision to throw away my recent education and leave on a whim to a foreign country. The majority of the people regretted not doing it while they were young and had no ties. It was all very reassuring that I was making the right choice.
When I talk about traveling I get this sense of excitement and uncertainly which i love. I spend my days when i;m not working reading blogs and researching all of the places that I want to go before I settle down.. and honestly who knows, maybe I won’t ever settle down. That’s the beauty of this new me; theres no certainty to anything meaning the possibilities are endless. I recently ended my 6 year relationship with my high school sweetheart, and I honestly feel so free. There’s nothing holding me back from any opportunity that may present itself because I have no plans for the future anymore.
The morning I spontaneously bought my plane ticket was the moment I knew that I was doing this; I was finally doing something just for me. I’m extremely frugal with money so for me to buy a one way ticket in the spur of the moment really told me that this is what I truly want to do; what will make me happy.
I don’t want to say that I’m not happy here in my small village but I feel that I have a lot more to offer the world and need to see what else is out there. There’s nothing left for me here.. Family will always be here but I find it more depressing being in a small-town with limited “friends” and things to do. With one bar in town and it being 15 minutes away, it really doesn’t make for an exciting place with many opportunities. I’ve been fortunate to have travelled quite a bit through my childhood considering having a large family, but never anything like this; and alone at that. I’m not sure if I should be afraid of this adventure i’m about to go on, but i’m honestly not the least bit scared.. yet anyways.
What do I plan to get out of this trip?
- A new relationship with a family i’ve never met
- To see places I’ve always dreamed of seeing but never thought I would be able to experience
- Met people from all over the world doing the same thing that I am. Facebook has been incredible for connecting a group of au pairs that will be in together in the fall.
- I have no intention of making money while being in Paris as an au pair so my income will just be going towards daily expenses and traveling on the weekends. I have been working since I was 12 to save up for that “something” and the time has finally come to use it.
- Last but not least I want to find what truly makes me happy. I feel that what I think is happiness here is just a substitute for something out there that has been waiting for me. Only time will tell, but i’m ready for the endless experiences i’m about to embark on.