You’ll regret it someday

You’ll regret it someday

the words in sure a lot of us hear growing up.

We try and live life without any regrets but of course there are times when you wish you could change your past actions or at least I know I have.
Like many girls I fought with my mother through my teenage years and every time we would argue those words would come from her mouth – you’ll regret this someday . That someday I’ve realized is now.
Looking back the constant arguments or indifference’s we had are now irrelevant in my current life and were at the time to be honest.
Did It really matter that my mom was always late when we had to be somewhere? Not really, I always got there.
Was it such a big deal not to be “allowed” (more like it was frowned upon) to have a boyfriend at 14? Why I wanted to rush my youth is beyond me, so no i survived.

I realize that I took her love for granted as if every mother was obligated to show so much care for her children but that was and is completely false. My mother was there for me no matter when I needed her, heck she’s still here for me now even across the ocean and in different time zones. Even when she would be the only mother cheering in the crowds for me I would pick a fight, but why? I should have been appreciative she was there sitting in the crowd proud of her daughter on the field. Of course now when I can’t have those joyous memories, they are all I want. It seems we always want the things in life at the times when we cannot have them. As the french would say; C’est la vie.

Growing up I was not an open child and I had a hard time expressing myself to people in general, especially my mom. I couldn’t let the one woman who I wanted be a splitting image of more than anything know my flaws and problems I was going through.I can’t pin point why i didn’t put more effort in the past into creating a good relationship with the person I look up to the most in life, but I can only learn from my mistakes. I’ve heard many times that we get along better with people unlike ourselves, so in a way I hope that was one of the reasons because even having some of the attributes as my mother would be a blessing.

I can come up with many irrelevant excuses but they can take back the time I’ve already lost. I love my mom more than anything in the world, and consider her to be my largest role model. I an only dream to be someday as successful in life and the proud and caring mother she is day in and day out. Being alone across the ocean without a physical mother is hard. There are days when I just want to run up to her like when I was a little girl and jump into her arms which is quite frankly impossible in the current situation. Thankfully I can pick up the phone and at least hear her voice. In the late hours when I’m walking home from the last metro in the pitch black, my mom will take the time to make sure I’m home safely. She’s still protecting me even when she’s not physically able to, and now finally I realize how lucky I am. I can’t change the past but I sure can start a great path for the future which is what I intend to do.

If I could give any advice to teenage girls out there currently finding themselves in a constant battle with their mothers would be to simply STOP. It’s not worth it, and yes more than likely you will regret it someday.

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The Mindful Maritimer

I'm a 23 year old travel addict, health coach and thriving foodie! Follow my journey of overcoming my eating disorder while traveling the world!

2 thoughts on “You’ll regret it someday”

  1. Now that was unfair, you made me cry!! I love you more than life itself. I know when I tucked you and said, “don’t forget to go to sleep” drove you crazy, but that was my time to let you know that I was there and that I loved you. I always snuck in at night to give you a kiss after you were asleep because I knew you were too old for me to do it, but again that was “my time” to show you that I still loved you even though you hated it. As my hand written tattoo on your side says, “I will always love you”. I always told you, it doesn’t matter what you do, “I will always love you”. You will always be my special daughter, but also my best friend. I knew that you would find your way back to me someday, I just had to wait (which was not easy, but I knew you needed your space). Alexa, I love you so much!! Love you, MOM. Xoxo

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