it’s Friday night and i want nothing more than to stay at home with my host family enjoying unlimited glasses of wine and talking the night away about nothing in particular.
I feel old.
Not even 2 months ago I would have wanted nothing less than to jet out of this house as soon as the parents got home from work, and now everything has changed. This is not to say I don’t love a good night out with friends but I’ve learned to appreciate other things in life that are also important to me.
This family has not only accepted me into their house but has taken me in as one of their own children. I finally feel like a part of this family and not just their employee.
I look forward to nightly routines of setting the table together while enjoying champagne then diving into the red wine when supper is ready. I must admit the conversations we come up with are often bizarre and random but that’s what makes it so enjoyable. For me, I need balance in life in order to be happy. Balance having a safe and secure home setting while also having the ability to be sociable with friends and enjoy what this year has to offer.
As many young people (and older, who am I kidding) I love going out and having a few drinks with my friends.. okay, when we go out there’s usually more alcohol involved than a few but hey, I’m 21 that’s what i’m suppose to do. That maybe happens once every two weeks if i’m lucky which is fine by me.
So you may think why wouldn’t you go out on your nights off, right. I could sit here and write plenty of “excuses” as to why I’m not partying this year away but I don’t feel an explanation is needed. We cannot be defined by certain actions that we portray in our life as we’re always changing whether be for better or worse. Before coming to France I always felt that I had to be involved in everything that me peers were doing even if it wasn’t something that appealed to me. Let’s say I was to miss out on a night out during the weekend because of prior commitments, it would’ve just killed me knowing that my friends were there having fun and I was missing out, therefore creating a tension towards what I was actually doing instead.
Than it finally clicked in this little brain of mine that
First, One night is not going to change my life significantly Secondly, I'[m going to feel a heck of a lot better than they will tomorrow morning. Thirdly and foremost, I’ve learned that being happy relies on how you interpret what you’re doing.
Once I focused on what I wanted to do myself and accepted my decisions I’ve become a completely different person. When I say completely, I seriously mean my demeanor has shifted from negative to positive. Okay, i’m not happy go lucky 24/7 but I truly believe that I’ve finally found a sense of satisfaction in my life where i’m able to be at ease with any decision I make.