The moment when you’re officially part of the family

Yesterday marked a big day for the comfort I guess you could say that I feel with this family and Perrine in general.

Perrine was playing with an older boy at the park as always when he asked her who I was. She described me as being her grand soeur which means big sister to all you english folks. I didn’t say anything but continued to listen to their conversation. Once the boy figured out that I really was her Jeune fille au pair he told her that I wasn’t her real sister. You could see the sadness in her face as she thought about what he had said because realistically he was right; I wasn’t her real sister at all. Later that night when we were having our daily talk as a family during dinner she explained what had happened at the park and I could see the tears form in her mothers eyes when she said the words big sister. She explained that I am her God Sister and compared me to her God Grandparents that aren’t related to her by blood but she still considers to be family.

Now the question becomes what determines being a sister?
– I choose to spend my free time with her
– I get to wake up on weekend mornings and enjoy pancakes with real maple syrup with the family
– I’m there for her when she cries
– when kids are mean I get to be the big bad sister and are sure she’s okay
– when she falls, I pick her up
– She allows me to do her hair which only her mom was allowed to touch before
– most importantly I’m allowed to play and move her littlest pet shop animals. Not just anyone is allowed to even touch them. Big deal right there!

So why shouldn’t I be considered her big sister if she wants me to be?

I grew up as an only child for the first seven years of my life so I can relate to a lot of what she goes through on a daily basis and the reasons why she does certain things. Thankfully my parents were able to present me with three siblings that following year because being an only child does have disadvantages. I’m thankful that I’ve been accepted into this family and to be able to share my love with this child that wouldn’t have it any other way. I see so many of my own qualities in her even at the young age that she is and can’t wait to see her grow throughout this year.

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The best things in life are rarely good ideas

“The best things in life are rarely good ideas”
I came across this quote while reading my current novel Stay with Me by Jennifer Armentrout and it instantly made me think about how true this really is, or has been recently in my own life.During the past two months, I have done things and made choices that I would once have considered “bad” not even a year ago.
How do we differentiate whether an idea is good or bad? What characteristics would make one better than the other?
We base our perceptions of ideas on what were told by society is the “good” or correct way to pursue things in our daily lives. Looking back at the past several months, there were a lot of decisions that I had to make where I ended up choosing the options with the most unknown outcomes. When judged by what society would consider a good idea, I failed and chose the majority of what would be considered as bad ones, but did they turn out bad?
The three letter word Bad doesn’t even exist my my current life. I am the happiest that I’ve ever been and did I chose the “good” path or what the world thinks we all should be? Not even close.
The best things in life are rarely good ideas
  • I turned down a career in my educational field to accept a job as an Au pair
  • Bought a one way ticket to paris
  • Attached a lock on the love bridge in paris
  • Jumped on a plane to rome to spend a weekend with someone I met for two hours, at nonetheless a bar
  • Went on my first party bus in Rome
  • Became a big sister to a little girl who never had an opportunity to have one before

Now this isn’t to say that good ideas aren’t exactly what they are said to be. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for the multitude of positive and responsible decisions I made the past. I went to high school, played multiple sports, graduated college, kept a close bond with my family, and even bought my first car. Every single one of those events were made possible from good choices that I made order to achieve these results. After college graduation my life felt off balance; missing a crucial part of happiness. I was living every day in such a structured lifestyle with a familar foreseen outcome. I can’t say that i ever pictured myself living the current lifestyle I am today especially in another country but I finally am starting to feel true happiness all from being spontaneous and adapting to change.

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Sibling Bonds

I grew up as an only child for the first 7 years of my life, and then in 2000 I became a sister to not one, but 3 siblings! My sister was born in February and my brothers in November that year. The excitement that I felt about finally having the responsibility of being the “big sister” was incredible and i wouldn’t change that for the world. There are times when the thought of what it would be like if I had of gone through life as an only child come up, and when they do I instantly feel ashamed. Who wouldn’t want three beautiful siblings in their life? 

As the years progressed and they became more independent the tension and fighting grew, as it does with many siblings I’m sure but it never changes the fact that we are a family with an ever growing bond. I have been able to watch them grow from every word they said up to now when they are entering high school. I thoroughly enjoy being their older sisters and having the responsibility of helping out whenever I can. 

Being the oldest has its benefits, but boy isn’t it aggravating seeing your younger siblings not having to embrace the strict rules that you had to. It seems so much easier for them to do the things that I was always told “No” or had to really work hard to convince my parents to let me do. I mean, I wasn’t even allowed to hold a guys hand at 15 where my sisters had a boyfriend at 10. I do realize that the times are changing and kids are experiencing things a lot earlier than I did when I was growing up.  

Positives (for the most part)  of being the oldest

1. You get to experience a lot of things that your siblings may not get to do. I was able to go on a grad trip with my mom, which I can’t see happening for my siblings where they will all be graduating within a year of each other. 

2. For 7 years I had one on one attention from both of my parents which I hate to admit it, but made me kind of spoiled. 

3. I am able to be a role model for the 3 of them. I work hard in school and have always been an competitive athlete with many different sports. I see them doing things that I once did which is gratifying to say the least. 

4. I’ve been able to experience a lot of things on my own which I have taught to my older siblings how to do themselves. 

Sisterly Love

I can honestly say that I love my sister to death, and reflecting on our relationship these past couple of years It saddens me that I haven’t taken the time to spend more time with her. Here I am leaving the country for at least a year, and I will miss out on so many things in her life.  If i’m in pain she’s the first person I go to in any situation, as I hope that when she hurts she knows that I am there for her. 

I’ve found that our age differences made it hard to bond while we were both younger but now she is 14 and we seem to have more in common than ever. She’s blossoming into a beautiful young woman and I couldn’t be more proud.

We fight as any sisters do, but no matter how many times we scream and yell we will always be sisters no matter where our lives takes us.